… is this normal for a new mom?
Well, for starters, let’s set aside the idea of normal and abnormal, because the truth is that it will all feel a bit off at times.
If you’re a new mom wondering whether crying over spilled breast milk, googling your baby’s breathing at 2:17 a.m., or feeling completely in love and completely overwhelmed in the same hour means something is wrong — take a deep breath.
You are not broken.
You are not failing.
And you are definitely not the only one asking, “Is this normal?”
As a therapist who works with new mothers — and as a mom myself — I can tell you this: the transition into motherhood is one of the biggest psychological, emotional, hormonal, and identity shifts a person will ever experience. Your brain, body, sleep schedule, relationships, and sense of self all change at once… while you’re trying to keep a tiny human alive.
So let’s talk about what’s actually common, what deserves extra support, and when it might be time to reach out for help.
First: Why Everything Feels So Intense
After birth, hormone levels drop dramatically — estrogen and progesterone can fall faster than at any other time in a person’s life. Add sleep deprivation, physical recovery, feeding demands, and a brand-new responsibility, and it makes perfect sense that emotions feel amplified.
Your nervous system is essentially recalibrating while running on two hours of sleep and reheated coffee.
So yes — things may feel a little (or a lot) chaotic.
What Is Common for New Moms?
Many emotional and mental changes are expected during the postpartum period. Some experiences that are very common include:
Crying more easily than usual
Feeling overwhelmed or unsure of yourself
Worrying about whether you’re doing things “right”
Mood swings or irritability
Feeling deeply connected to your baby one moment and exhausted or touched-out the next
Difficulty sleeping even when the baby sleeps
Missing your pre-baby independence or identity
Wondering, “Why didn’t anyone tell me it would feel like this?”
About 70–80% of new mothers experience the “baby blues” — a short period of emotional sensitivity, tearfulness, and mood fluctuations that typically begins within the first week after delivery and improves within about two weeks.
Baby blues are uncomfortable, but they are temporary and usually resolve as hormones stabilize and support increases.
When It’s More Than the Baby Blues
Here’s something many new parents don’t realize:
Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) are the most common complication of childbirth.
Approximately 1 in 5 women (about 20%) experience a perinatal mental health condition such as postpartum depression, anxiety, OCD, or PTSD.
Anxiety disorders in the postpartum period may be even more common than depression.
Many parents experience symptoms during pregnancy, postpartum, or both.
And despite how common this is, many moms assume they’re just “not handling motherhood well.”
If you take one thing from reading this, I hope it is this:
Struggling does not mean you’re a bad mom. It means you’re a human going through a human experience — and possibly in need of support.
Signs That May Mean You Should Reach Out
It can help to talk with a professional if symptoms:
Last longer than two weeks
Feel like they’re getting worse instead of better
Interfere with daily functioning or bonding
Make you feel unlike yourself
Some signs to watch for include:
Postpartum Depression
Persistent sadness or numbness
Loss of interest or joy
Feeling hopeless, guilty, or like a failure
Difficulty bonding with baby
Low energy beyond typical exhaustion
Postpartum Anxiety
Constant racing thoughts or “what if” worries
Feeling on edge or unable to relax
Physical symptoms like chest tightness or nausea
Trouble sleeping due to worry (even when baby sleeps)
Postpartum OCD
Intrusive, unwanted thoughts that feel scary or upsetting
Mental checking, reassurance seeking, or repetitive behaviors meant to reduce anxiety
(Important note: intrusive thoughts are common and do not mean you want to harm your baby.)
Postpartum PTSD
Flashbacks or distress related to pregnancy, birth, or medical experiences
Avoidance of reminders of the birth
Feeling hyper-alert or emotionally numb
And yes — dads and non-birthing parents can experience these challenges too.
When It’s a Mental Health Emergency
It’s important to know that an active case of Perinatal/Postpartum Psychosis (PPP) is considered an emergency. If you or a perinatal individual experience the symptoms below, call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 833-852-6262. Hotline Counselors are available to discuss and explore next steps.
Delusions or strange beliefs
Hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that aren’t there)
Feeling very agitated
Hyperactivity or having more energy than usual
Severe depression or lack of emotion
Decreased need for or inability to sleep
Paranoia and suspiciousness
Rapid mood swings
Difficulty communicating at times
Postpartum Psychosis occurs in approximately 1 to 2 out of every 1,000 deliveries. For more information or to learn more, check out this helpful link from Postpartum Support International.
The Myth of “You Should Be Happy”
One of the biggest barriers to getting help is the belief that you’re supposed to feel grateful all the time.
You can love your baby deeply and struggle emotionally.
You can be thankful and overwhelmed.
You can have wanted this baby desperately and still find this transition hard.
Two things can be true at the same time.
What Actually Helps
Support makes a measurable difference. Research consistently shows that early treatment improves outcomes for both parents and babies.
Helpful supports can include:
Therapy with a perinatal-trained clinician (click the link for a Provider Directory)
Support groups with other new moms
Medication when appropriate (many options are safe during pregnancy and breastfeeding)
Increased practical support and rest
Honest conversations that reduce isolation
You were never meant to do this alone — despite what social media might suggest about the have-it-all-together-moms.
So… Is This Normal?
If by “normal” we mean perfectly calm, confident, and glowing while effortlessly balancing a newborn and your entire life — no. That version doesn’t exist.
If by normal we mean messy, emotional, joyful, exhausting, confusing, meaningful, and sometimes overwhelming — then yes.
Very normal.
But here’s the most important part:
You don’t have to wait until things feel unbearable to ask for help. Support isn’t reserved for crises. It’s allowed for adjustment, reassurance, and healing too.
Because taking care of your mental health isn’t separate from caring for your baby.
It’s part of it.
If you’re reading this, know that support is available — and recovery is not only possible, it’s common.
… and from one mama to another: you’re doing better than you think.